Email from my mom on Monday:

fromRobert Schnipper <rismd@xxxxx.net>

toLauren Schnipper <lschnipp@xxxx.com>

dateMon, Aug 3, 2009 at 8:48 AM

subjectSpell check

On your blog: correct linen Not linin
correct Manishevitz ( I think, I know you spelled it wrong)

Busy packing.

Love and hugs,
Mom

—

Please note that the email is clearly sent from my dad’s email address, not because my mom forgot her password, but because she refuses to get her own email address.  I have tried, many times, to explain to her that sharing an email address is not the same as sharing, say, a phone number with my dad.  And because she conducts business over email that, in fact, it looks unprofessional to send an email from an account that is not hers.

“They can call me! “  She says “I don’t want it. I do not want my own email!! Did you know that they* can go online and look up anything about anyone now.  I hope you do not send anything in an email that you don’t want the world to know. And I don’t like the facebooks and the myspaces.**  Everyone doesn’t need to know everything.  Now leave me alone with the emails.  I love you, don’t trip.”***

Necessary explanations:

*”They” who are they?  I’ve asked her and am still waiting for an answer.  I can only assume it’s the people that go on facebook and myspace to find people to kill and molest?  In that case, I’ll remove the semi-nude pictures of me dressed as a six year old imediately.

**Note the use of an article “the” or “a” prior to a proper noun.  Very common in Jewish women, but the practice usually does not start until menapause. Eg: Grandma Glo says, “I need to go to the store to by some of the Estee Lauder.”

*** My entire life my mother, prior to getting off the phone with me says, “I love you, don’t trip.”  I was so used to it that only when I brought this up to a friend did he point out how bizarre this was.  So I asked my mom why she does this?  Her answer: “G-d forbid you trip. I told you about last week, just walking down the street and I didn’t see the curb and down I went.  Thank g-d I didn’t break anything.  Now BE CAREFUL. I love you, don’t trip.”  You can’t really argue with that.  Well you could, but I wouldn’t.